I’M JUST LETTING GO


It was so hard for me to get out of bed this morning. The alarm went off at 6 a.m. and I turned the bedside lamp on. At 6:30 my sweet husband came into the room with a cup of coffee and told me “I heard you snore so I thought I better do something.” What? Me, snore? Yeah, that was me. Oh how I wanted to sleep! But here’s the thing – I wanted to see Jesus more than I wanted to sleep. I practically had to scratch my way out of the warm and cozy trap that is my bed and adjust my crown of attitude into one more conducive to dedicating my Sabbath to the God of Glory, instead of What Nancy Wants. If attitude can get a person anywhere, projecting a good one is a start. So, half an hour late already, I struggled to set about getting ready for early Mass. Wonder of all wonders, I managed to get dressed and head toward Bunkie town.

Flash back: In June, I had the true honor of being one of the many prayer ministers at the Steubenville South Youth 2017 Conference in Alexandria, Louisiana. Long ago, when the movement first came to this part of the country, I was a part of the prayer team but took a hiatus when I married Pete and moved further south. It felt so good to be back into it this year. Man, if only I could tell you in human words what it is like to gently nudge a young person to the Way! All that to say this: The message, the speakers, the music, everything was great. It was mighty. A person would have to be a pillar of salt not to be moved. Hosted by Paul George, who by the way, knows how to get a young person’s attention (“clap once if you can hear me, clap twice etc.”) That really tickled me. The speakers were quite the line up of young adults who knew where they had been and know where they are going. Fr. Leo Patalinghug (EWTN, & Beating Bobby Flay – think “Holy Guacamole”), Megan Mastroianni, Chris Mueller, Sarah Swafford. Our own Josh Blakesley Band (http://www.joshblakesleymusic.com), and guest Sarah Kroger(http://www.sarahkroger.com) provided absolutely perfect music.

I’ve been a fan of Josh Blakesley & company for years. In fact, although my beloved and I are in our -ahem- 60’s, we have been known to travel the 40+ miles on a Sunday evening to Mass in Alexandria during which the music is rendered by said band. Enter Sarah Kroger. I had not heard of her before Steubenville South 2017. I found a couple of her CDs for sale and scored.

Ok, now flash forward to today: On the way to Mass, my thoughts were the usual “gosh I’m getting old, how did this happen, maybe it’s too late to do so-and-so, my memory is missing, something is wrong with my brain, gosh my hands hurt, oh, my back, this oldage is killing me, on and on and on.” Suddenly for some strange reason, I heard Sarah Kroger singing. Oh yeah, I forgot I was playing her CD. The words I heard captured me, literally dragging my attention away from my internal dialogue. Wow. How did that happen? The song must have been written for that very moment in my life. No? Well, you might not think so but I do. Let me say this about that; isn’t it amazing how God’s timing is perfect and how He reaches us exactly where we are and exactly when we need Him? Here, read these words.

“I thought by now I would be running on an open road

Not here standing with a heavy load

Unable to move

I thought by now it would be everything I ever dreamed

Not unsure of what there is for me

Or what I should do

And I can’t see straight and I just can’t seem to find my way

So I’m letting go, I’m letting go

For once in my life

I don’t need to know. I’m just letting go

Oh I’m letting go.

And like a friend this heaviness is settled in my soul

I don’t have to hold it any more

You whisper to me

“Be still don’t fight. Just let me make the burden light”.

So I’m letting go, I’m letting go

For once in my life

I don’t need to know. I’m just letting go.

Oh, I’m letting go.

I will not be afraid to open up my hands

I will not be afraid to let you in

I will not be afraid, your love is more than I could know

So I’m letting go, I’m letting go

For once in my life

I don’t need to know. I’m just letting go

Oh, I’m letting go.”

Powerful, huh? I meditated on that after I took a seat in church. The message I got from that wonderful song is simply to stop worrying and trust more. Sounds like a cliché but it is what it is. It comforted me. It helped me see that the course my life has taken is not so far off what it should be. I am more aware of the road I am on. If I can let go, if I can trust.

Now here’s where it gets Real. To my delight, Father Taylor Reynolds was the Celebrant for Mass. I’ve watched him grow up in Bunkie. His mother is a lady I know and admire. He is with our parish for the summer before he returns to Rome in the fall. So you can imagine how it warmed my heart to see him this morning. When Father Taylor read today’s Gospel (Mathew 14:22-23) he had my complete attention. What he said afterwards brought tears to my eyes. And it still does. It is the story of Jesus walking on water. Allow me to paraphrase the homily. First Jesus leads the disciples to the boat, rides with them to the other side of the lake, and then leaves them and goes off by himself to talk to his Dad. The guys on the boat carry on until the wind gets tough, the ride gets rough and terrible fear moves in. Suddenly, they look up and see Jesus walking on the water toward them. But, as Fr. Taylor pointed out, he didn’t calm the seas. He didn’t tell the wind to stop. He did, however, say “don’t be afraid”. Peter told Jesus “Lord, if it’s You, tell me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said “Come” So, Peter stepped out of the boat in faith. Then he faltered. But Jesus reached out and caught him. Thank God! Fr. Taylor pointed out how close Jesus was to Peter as he took his faltering steps and started to sink. He was right there, close enough to grab him. What wonderful news! What a fantastic analogy!

So the lesson God gave me today goes like this; Life is a journey, yet another cliché, but true none the less. On this journey we hope we are doing the right things. We have our problems, our burdens, our forks in the road. We don’t know where to turn. We need Him to show us the way. We need to trust Him through the storms. We need to step out in faith and know that Jesus is right there for us when we falter, and feel like all is lost or it’s too hard to carry on, or we don’t know what to do. We need to believe.

Let go. Release the heaviness in your soul, your burdens, your insecurities. Step out in faith knowing that He is in control and He won’t let you go. He’ll be there for you and with you throughout your journey. “Be still, don’t fight. Just let Me make the burden light.”

I’m praising Him for that lesson today! Oh Jesus, I’m loving you! Thank You from the bottom of my heart! I wish I could convey my concern and compassion to the many who have not yet entered into a life with Christ. It just doesn’t make sense not to want to love and be loved, not to want a richer life with riches that matter and carry over into the next life, the one that is Eternity, not to want a better, more meaningful life. I’ve had a life without Him, although as a believer I thought I had it all. Wrong. There is more. So much more.

Below you will see the CD cover I reference by Sarah Kroger.  She’s awesome.

 

Pray for peace, people. Our world needs your prayers.

 

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I promise, I am NOT a prude!


Really, I’m not.  I am human just like everyone else.  I am (barely) past middle aged but I still have ‘those’ feelings.  I still have dreams and desires.  I’m not a prude and I can’t deny my past.   I have done my share of illicit behavior…and I have lived to regret it.  There is a war going on these days and I’m not talking about the one in the Middle East.  This war is in our homes and in our hearts.  It is in our schools, on TV, billboards, movie theaters, and social media of all sorts.  Let me tell you about it.  I call it Fifty Shades of Pornography

What has happened to us?  With every generation we seem to lose more in terms of morality.  We say what we want (I’m guilty too), we do what we want, we watch what we want and we do those things without any thought to the future as if we don’t have a God who sees us in our frailty and obnoxious conditions. Please don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not throwing judgment out there to condemn anyone.  That would be kind of foolish of me considering how I have behaved in the past.  I’ve been judged and it’s no fun.  The worst part is accepting that the offense in question just might have a ring of truth to it.  We are all pretty good at denying that our actions are not stellar.  In fact, we have convinced ourselves that what we do and the choices we make are nobody’s business but our own.  That may be so, but there is, and always will be, consequences to our actions whether they are good or bad.  It’s not as simple as if we do good, good things will happen or if we do bad, bad things will happen.  That’s just not realistic.  Bad things do happen to good people and vice versa.  No, the simplicity of it is more along the lines of integrity and morality.

art like morality

We are a society hell bent on proclaiming our individualism and freedom.  We think we are free to do anything we want and we want instant gratification.  We are unbelievably selfish.  I’m not preaching and trying to tell the masses that if you do this or that you will be condemned.  All I am saying is; look, each one of us has a decision to make.  Will your decision be one that will bring you honor or dishonor?  Will your actions cast a light over you that will make you appear less than a person with integrity?  How do your decisions make you feel about yourself?

Or are you making the decision to agree with the rest of the world and give in to the call of complacency and indulgence into a lifestyle that celebrates the ways of an ungodly world.

I’m sorry, it’s just to hedonistic for me.  I’ve learned my lesson.  I’ve decided not to subject myself to anything questionable.  By saying that, I’m not going to judge your choices. I know everybody has goodness within them.  I’m sure people are kind and thoughtful and loving. You can do what you want.  As for myself, I believe in a higher road. It took me a long time to get here so I’m not going to throw it away.  I am finally treating myself with integrity and honor.  Therefore, I choose not to partake in sponsoring anything that would compromise that decision.  I won’t watch movies that glorify a lack of morality (although I do LOVE romantic movies).  I don’t like dirty jokes.  I don’t like bad language which if you knew me, that would surprise you.  I admit I do have a few words in my language that are better left unsaid.  Hey, I am human but I’m not perfect.  I am trying to curb my habitual slip of the tongue.  I need a lot of practice in talking the talk while I’m walking the walk.

See, the bible tells us that we cannot serve both God and mammon, which, contrary to popular belief doesn’t mean Man, it means the world.  God is not of the world.  Yes, he made the world but he also gave those in the world free will, the will to choose what we are going to do.  You can choose, you have a God-given right.  Will you choose something that lifts you up and sets the bar high in terms of integrity and morality?  Or will you choose the path that takes you down and compromises your inherent goodness?  You ARE a child of the most high God.  You always have been, you always will be. You CAN choose a better way for yourself and in doing that, you will have the opportunity to set a good example for your children and even for those whom your life touches.  Don’t you want them to respect you?  Or do you want them to think it is ok to lust after immorality, to think they can give themselves to anyone that comes along in the name of freedom?  Will your children think it is ok to break God’s law?  Will they believe the messages they receive from the world are ok?

Take my advice.  Don’t compromise yourself.  You will never be sorry.

What is the Word today being shared at ALL Masses throughout the world?    Heb 13:1-8

Let brotherly love continue.
Do not neglect hospitality,
for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.
Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment,
and of the ill-treated as of yourselves,
for you also are in the body.
Let marriage be honored among all
and the marriage bed be kept undefiled,
for God will judge the immoral and adulterers.
Let your life be free from love of money
but be content with what you have,
for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.
Thus we may say with confidence:

The Lord is my helper,
and I will not be afraid.
What can anyone do to me
?

Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you.
Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

don’t forget to pray for peace, y’all!

Spiritually Overcoming Abuse


jesus and child

I intended to post the following yesterday but I had to sleep on it and pray about it to be sure I wanted to share it with the world. Plus, I don’t want to hurt anyone who has hurt me in the past. With healing comes forgiveness. Or maybe the other way around.

I don’t even know how to put into words the experience I had, or I should say, the truth revealed to me last night. I was at my weekly prayer meeting, a group of Catholic Charismatic ladies who get together to praise God and offer prayer intentions. And sometimes share a bottle of wine. Hey, we’re Catholic, what can I say?

ANYWAY, during the course of the evening we shared and prayed and meditated. I think we all had the same thing on our hearts because it seems the conversation drifted into the realm of our pasts and the pain of our childhoods. Isn’t it something how God brings people together who have so much in common? Not a coincidence, a God-incidence. There were only three of us last night but we still made a joyful noise unto the Lord, as the saying goes. When we got down to brass tacks, it was all about surviving abusive relationships and childhoods. One by one we shared things in our lives that were devastating. We cried for each other and prayed for each other. And we thanked God that He is a God of mercy and compassion. The more I thought about that, the more I began to recognize a truth that had evaded me for as long as I could remember. And with that truth came healing.

In terms of what we all have to suffer in life, I can’t say I know the reasons why we do. The world wide web is not the place to discuss some things so I’m not going there. But I will say this: God’s timing is not our timing but his timing is perfect. Recently, I saw a post on fb that said our bad memories need to be removed from our lives because they are toxic to ourselves physically and mentally. Personally, the suffering I have had to endure was bad in my eyes but compared to some, maybe not so much. Nevertheless, it was so complicated it had to be healed by layers. I can’t say I was always fully aware of each step into healing. All I knew was I had pain that was tattooed on my heart and soul and I wanted to be free of it. I wanted to be ‘normal’, whatever that was. As the healing progressed, I began to understand the reasoning behind why I felt ‘less than’, as well as defining and understanding my own behaviors that were destructive and self-deprecating, at the same time, inevitable; symptoms manifested by my pain.

A little at a time, the eyes of my heart have been opened to see the reasoning, if there is such a thing, behind why I suffered what I did. With each revelation came healing. Like an onion (I’m sure you’ve heard this before but it still rings true) peeling away layer by layer, so were the obstacles that kept me from the area in my life that most needed healing. And it was a s l o w process. Finally, just last night, I came to understand that I needn’t search for healing and the ability to rise above. It would come to me. God would see to it. Suddenly last night, as clear as a bell, I realized that God knows what He is doing. I had to wait until His time was right to complete the work He began in me. I discovered that the reason I wasn’t healed the first time I asked was because God knew I couldn’t deal with the reasons why what happened happened. I simply wasn’t ready. God knew when I would be and he tilled the soil and fertilized the field, and pulled the weeds until I was in the exact spot I needed to be, a place where I could accept hearing what happened, what made me the way I am.

I would have not been able to handle it otherwise. Premature enlightenment of the truth might have destroyed me. There could have been weak areas in me that couldn’t go there without more damage occurring.

God’s timing is perfect. I’m pretty sure I am a much stronger person with perhaps more insight and rebounding abilities. All thanks to God.

I don’t blame Him for the bad, bad experiences I have had. His gift to the human race is free will and it isn’t His fault that the choices of others have had a negative impact on my life. For that matter, some of my own choices have had negative impact on other’s lives. But God, in His mercy, has all the tools we need to become whole. His understanding and compassion are perfect, therefore He knows the exact time in which we will be able to accept our healing so that it will become totally complete.

Amen.

Please pray for peace.

SNOW DAY!


Waaay down here in the south we don’t know what to do when it snows. Some businesses don’t open, schools stay closed, shopping is done ahead of the of the inclimate weather. All that because southerners typically don’t know how to drive on ice or snow. It is fairly foreign to us. The novelty of it wears off in a couple of hours after the white stuff blankets our still green grass and blooming sasanquas. I have to admit it is a pretty sight, but trust me, after a couple of days being stuck in the house, I’m ready for a few degrees of warmth outside. I’m one of those chickens who prefers to stay inside rather than brave a wind that bites. “I’d druther” a more gentle sweet smelling breeze and the warmth of a southern sun.

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So, what to do while I’m stuck in the house? Well, I had a mind to get into making rosaries. I’ve been slacking off lately and need to catch up. But, guess what? I don’t have enough wire on hand to do much with. It stinks, because I’m NOT going to town. I had to come up with a new plan.

I decided to put together all the components to make rosaries, store them in the appropriate color organza bag until I can renew my wire stash to finish them. I’ll be ready.

So far I have put together kits for 12 rosaries, 18 car rosaries, and 8 baby baptism rosaries!

ready and waitin'

ready and waitin’

I’m tickled to pieces to get all organized and such. I was able to use some of my new components, some beautiful pieces I picked up in south Louisiana.

It is supposed to be in the 50’s. I can’t wait.

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On the Bead Board … New Christmas Rosary


On the bead board today…

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How do you like this Christmas rosary? I put it together using semi-precious beads; green jade, red crystal, and cracked fire agate. Each bead is wire wrapped by hand using non-tarnish silver-plated 22 gauge wire. Take a look at that unusual center connector. It is a beautiful rendition of the Holy Family. The pewter crucifix compliments it perfectly. For a bit of Christmas delight, I added a ring engraved with the words “Jesus is the Reason” on one side and “for the Season” on the opposite side. The ring floats along all five decades and is a permanent part of the rosary.

The technique of wire-wrapping the beads insures the durability of this sacramental tool. There are no links that will split open over the years. Construction is tight and the prayer beads will slide through your fingers easily.

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This is a rosary that you will be proud to hand down from generation to generation. Merry Christmas, ya’ll, and don’t forget to pray for peace!

On the Bead Board – NaBloPoMo #5


I’ve been inspired to make a few new rosaries and a bracelet or two. Normally I would put them in my etsy shop but this time I am going to save them to display in a friend’s new boutique. I will blog about her after her grand opening. If you see something you would like feel free to contact me. If you have a suggestion, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. I’m always open to feedback.

These are a few of my infant rosaries. I made them with t-tiny 4mm beads. Perfect for a baby shower gift or baptism gift.

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These are a couple of full size rosaries. The first one is made out of blue dyed fresh water pearls, each one hand wire-wrapped using non-tarnish silver plated wire. The following is a Divine Mercy rosary. The Ave beads are clear, multi-faceted glass beads with red Pater beads. Together, they symbolize the blood and water flowing from Jesus’ side. The center connector and crucifix have the Divine Mercy emblems on them.

Blue dyed Fresh Water Pearl

Blue dyed Fresh Water Pearl

Drop of His Blood

Drop of His Blood

Divine Mercy Rosary

Divine Mercy Rosary

This single decade rosary bracelet is strung on strong jeweler’s wire. The beads are a cream color with gold crackle detail. The findings are bronze color.

Rosary Bracelet

Rosary Bracelet

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you!